Welcome to the
Mastery of Life Blog

See the latest posts from Bill Ferguson

Posts belonging to Category Uncategorized



Be willing for the other person to never change

 

The biggest killer of relationships is not being at peace with the way someone is.

Let’s say that you and I have a relationship. If I can’t be at peace with the way you are, I will radiate non-acceptance with every breath. No matter what words I use, I am going to communicate, “You are not okay the way you are.” You will then get the message loud and clear. You will feel hurt, put up your walls of protection, and automatically give it back to me.

Then I will get more upset at you and you will get more upset at me. Without knowing, we will create a cycle of conflict, a cycle of hurting, attacking, and withdrawing from each other. This is what happens when you can’t be at peace with way someone is. You are guaranteed to destroy love and sabotage your relationship.
(more…)

Make sure the other person feels loved

 

Love by itself is never enough to have a relationship work. The divorce courts are full of people who love each other. The key to having a relationship be great is to make sure the other person feels loved. You do this by making sure the person feels loved, accepted, and appreciated just the way the person is.

Notice how it feels when someone genuinely accepts and appreciates you. Doesn’t this feel great? Of course it does. You feel loved and empowered. You feel better about yourself and your life. You also feel better about the person who accepts and appreciates you. You then give love in return.
(more…)

Are you living in the light or the darkness?

 

There was a day a while back when I was grumpy and life wasn’t much fun. I was discouraged and negative. Then I went to lunch and saw an old friend. We hugged each other and I experienced a beautiful burst of love. All of a sudden, life was wonderful again. I was happy, alive, and very positive. Life was a joy and opportunity was everywhere.

Nothing changed in the realm of circumstances, but everything changed in me. One moment I was in the darkness and in the next moment, I was in the light.
(more…)

The nature of upsets and how to release them quickly

 

Upsets seem to be caused by what happens, but this is an illusion that creates tremendous suffering. Upsets are not caused by what happens. Upsets are a state of mind and can only exist if we fight what happens.

To see this in your life, find time when you were upset. Then notice that something happened and it happened whether you liked it or not. Now notice what would happen to the upset if somehow, you were at peace with what happened. The upset would disappear. It would disappear because upsets can only exist if we fight what happens.

So why do we fight what happens? We fight what happens because our circumstances hurt. They trigger all sorts of emotion that we don’t want to feel. It’s the automatic, subconscious avoidance of this emotion that creates our upsets and sabotages our lives. It destroys our ability to see clearly and forces destructive behavior.
(more…)

How facing the dragon changed my life

 

I didn’t know it at the time, but much of my life had been spent running from failure. I did everything I could to become a success. Then there was a point when I purchased a significant amount of real estate. I did this right before the market collapsed.

As a result, I lost everything. I lost my investments, my office, and even my home. This was a very difficult time for me, but it ended up being one of the most valuable. It put failure in my face like never before and this is exactly what I needed.
(more…)