Why certain areas of life don't work
In the reality of life, things just are. What happened is what happened. What's so is what's so. Period. Then there is our reality. Our reality consists of thoughts, feelings, emotion, and points of view. There is the truth and there are our feelings about it.
The truth and our feelings have nothing to do with each other. They are never, never connected in reality. They are only connected in our mind. In reality, our circumstances are the way that they are and our feelings about it are totally irrelevant.
To see an example of this, find a time when you were upset. Didn't something happen? Yes. Something happened. That's the truth. It happened. Now notice how totally irrelevant your feelings were. No matter how upset you were, it still happened. Your feelings may affect your future actions, but they don't change the truth. What happened still happened.
If you are at peace with the truth of the way something is, you will have peace of mind. You may not like what you see, but you will see your situation clearly and can see what needs to be done. Look at the areas of your life that work great and notice that these are areas where you can flow with whatever happens.
Now look at the areas of your life that don't work. These are areas where you can't flow. Instead of focusing on what on what needs to be done based on the truth, all the focus is on fighting the truth. This destroys your ability to find solutions and forces you to magnify the problem. Here is an example this demonstrates this.
My wife and I have a cat and this cat won't bark. I can yell at the cat and plead with the cat, but no matter what I do. The cat still won't bark. If I am at peace with this truth, my focus will be on what needs to be done. If I want to hear barking, I can go get a dog.
If I am fighting the truth, all my focus will be on the cat. I will be convinced that the cat is the problem, but the cat is not the problem. The cat is just the cat. The real problem is my fighting the truth. When I fight the truth, I destroy my ability to see what needs to be done and I magnify the problem. I won't see the possibility of getting a dog and I will create a nightmare in my relationship with the cat.
If you have a relationship or any other area of your life that isn't working, there is a cat that isn’t barking and you are fighting it. Instead of focusing on solutions, the focus is on resisting. Instead of resolving the problem, you make it worse.
If you could surrender to the truth, the fear and upset would disappear. You would restore your ability to see clearly and could see what needs to be done. Solutions would appear and this area of life would start clearing up.
Action to Take
- Notice the difference between your reality and the reality of life
Find a time when you were upset and notice how totally irrelevant your feelings were. No matter how much you hated what happened, it still happened. Your feelings can affect your future actions but they don't change the truth. What's so is still what's so. Notice the huge difference between the truth and your feelings about it.
Look at any area of your life that isn't working
This is an area where you are fighting the truth. Instead of focusing on what needs to be done based on the truth of your situation, your focus is on resisting. Instead of finding solutions, you magnify the problem. This is why the suffering continues. Find examples of this in your life.
Now look at the areas of your life that work great
These are areas where you can flow with whatever happens. Things happen that you don't like, but you don't get hooked. You see your situation clearly and can see what needs to be done. When you flow with life, you automatically look in a direction where solutions show up. Look in your life and see that this is true. Notice how much more effective you are when you flow with life.