The Mastery of Life Blog

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The key to resolving disputes

I used to be a divorce attorney. When people came to see me, they were usually full of fear and upset. They also had lots of hurt from their relationship. Now they had to resolve important questions like what happens to the kids, the house, and how to handle their finances.

As you can expect, divorcing couples have very different opinions as to how these questions should be resolved. Unfortunately, most people attempt to resolve these issues in a way that makes it hard to resolve anything. We are taught to draw sides against the other person and fight to make sure our side wins.

How to release an upset and restore inner peace fast

Years ago, something happened and I got upset. I was so upset, I couldn’t think about anything else. My circumstances had total power over me. I lost my joy and my effectiveness. Sound familiar? This is what happens when we get upset.

I then shifted my focus from what was going on outside of me to what was going on inside of me. The first thing I noticed was that I was full of emotion. It’s the emotion that was stealing my joy and sabotaging my life. I had to get this negative emotion out of me.

Are you living in the light or the darkness?

The two realms of life

There was a day a while back when I was grumpy and life wasn’t much fun. I was discouraged and negative. Then I went to lunch and saw an old friend. We hugged each other and I experienced a powerful burst of love. All of a sudden, life was wonderful again. I was happy, alive, and very positive. Life was a joy and opportunity was everywhere.

Nothing changed in the realm of circumstances, but everything changed in me. One moment I was in the darkness and in the next moment, I was in the light.

How we create conflict instead of solutions

We all see life in a different way. Our view of life is created by the decisions we have made and the experiences we have had. We then act consistent with the way we “know” life is and life responds accordingly.

For example, if you “know” that relationships don’t work, you will keep your walls up. You will act destructively and your relationships won’t work. Ultimately, our points of view shape our lives and determine what happens around us.

The inner issues that destroy love and sabotage our lives

Every one of us has a childhood hurt that destroys love and sabotages our lives. Fortunately, this hurt can be found and removed. Here is how this hurt gets created:

When we were young children, we were pure love. We were happy, alive, and free, but we were born into a world that suppresses this state. As a result, we got hurt and we got hurt a lot. We experienced rejection, invalidation, and painful losses of love. As little children, the only way we could explain these painful losses of love was to blame ourselves. “Clearly I’m the problem.”