How to be free of
Depression: How it works & how to avoid it
This video is from The Mastery of Life Course
How to be free of depression
Depression is no fun. When you are depressed, you shut down and become very negative. You have no energy and no confidence. You lose your power and become very ineffective. There is no peace of mind and no hope. You are in a very dark place. Does this sound familiar? Life is very painful when you are in this state. Fortunately, there is something you can do about it. You can be free of depression and you can get your life back.
Depression may seem to be caused by your circumstances, but it’s not. It is the result of how you relate to your circumstances. There may also be chemical aspects of depression, but for now, we are just going to talk about the mental aspects.
Here is how it works: Something happens that strikes a nerve. We lose a relationship, a job, or some other major change takes place. These circumstances trigger a childhood hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, not worth loving, failure, or some other form of feeling "not okay."
It’s not the truth that we are this way, it’s just a suppressed emotion, but it’s an emotion that we will do almost anything to avoid feeling. Usually, we are able to push this emotion back down, but sometimes the circumstances of our lives are so overwhelming, we can't.
These circumstances are then perceived subconsciously as a threat. In an automatic attempt to avoid this threat, we do two things that result in depression. We withdraw from life and we become "at the effect."
When you are active in life, you tend to be happy. You have momentum and the energy to make things happen. You are also in a place where solutions and opportunity can show up. Life is a lot more enjoyable when you in this state. When you withdraw, you shut this down. You close down inside and stop taking action. Your energy drops and your negativity grows. You stop getting new thoughts and life doesn’t work as well.
Another way to see this is to imagine being in the deep part of a lake. As long as you are swimming, you stay above water. As soon as you stop swimming, you start to sink. The same thing is true about life. As long as you are moving forward, you stay on top of life. When you stop moving forward, you start to sink.
If you are depressed, notice how much you have withdrawn from life.
We become "at the effect"
At any moment, the circumstances of your life are exactly the way that they are. This is true whether you like it or not. When you are at peace with the truth of the way your situation is, you can focus on what needs to be done based on the facts. When you do this, life works.
Look at any area of your life that isn’t working and notice the direction of your focus. Instead of looking to see what needs to be done based on the truth of the way your situation is, your focus is on fighting the truth. When you do this, you throw away your power. You give it to your circumstances. You make yourself a victim and put yourself "at the effect."
Instead of being on top of your situation, your situation is now on top of you. Instantly, your confidence and energy disappear. You become negative and lose your ability to find solutions. You then act in a way that tends to make your situation worse. Whenever you are depressed, you are deep at the effect.
Depression is created by the combination of withdrawing and being at the effect.
Set yourself free of depression
Fortunately, depression can be reversed. The key to being free of depression is to do the opposite of what creates it. Here are basic the steps:
- Find and heal the hurt. Ultimately, depression is fueled by the automatic, subconscious avoidance of a very specific hurt. This hurt is the suppressed childhood hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, or some other form of feeling "not okay." As you heal this hurt, the need to withdraw and be “at the effect” loses power. We give this hurt power by avoiding it. The key to healing it is to do the opposite. Look for it and feel it willingly like a child. Let it come and let it go.
- Be active. Do the opposite of withdrawing. Get with friends and be out in the world. Find things you like to do and do them often. Exercise and have fun. This may take a lot of energy at first, but once you get going, it will be hard to stop.
- Get your power back. If you are depressed, you are deep “at the effect.” You have lost your power and life is on top of you. To get your power back, find the specific circumstances that you are resisting. Then let go of the resisting and surrender to the truth of the way your situation is. Restore your inner peace. Then look to see what needs to be done based on the facts. The moment you do this, and start taking action, you shift from being at the effect” to being “at cause.” This restores your power.
Something else that helps
Another way to avoid depression is to start looking for what’s possible in your life. What great things can happen? How do you want your life to be? What can you work towards? When you focus on what’s possible, your energy becomes positive instead of negative. This takes the power out of depression. It's hard to be depressed when you are full of positive energy.
You can be free of depression. You can restore both your peace and your effectiveness. Problem areas can clear up and you can create an incredible life, but you need to know how and you need to take the steps.
If you have the desire to heal and get on with your life, I can show you how. Give me a call. We can talk about your situation and see what needs to be done.
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