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Steps for healing any relationship

You can heal any relationship

If you have a relationship that isn’t working, there is a cycle of conflict that is creating the problem. Each of you are getting hurt, putting up your walls of protection, and giving it back to the other.

Fortunately, it’s relatively easy to turn your situation around. This is because it takes two people to create a cycle of conflict. It only takes one person to end it. The cycle is like a tennis volley. It’s back and forth, back and forth. As soon as someone refuses to return the serve, the volley is over.

You destroy love and fuel the conflict by being judgmental and critical: by fighting the truth of the way the person is. To end the cycle of conflict, do the opposite. Stop the resisting. Surrender to the truth of the way the person is and empower the person as a fellow human being. Then do whatever you need to do to have your life be great.


The steps

Use the following steps to heal your relationship, one human being to another:

  1. Find and heal the hurt that is being triggered by the other person. What do your circumstances say about you? Feel the hurt of what happened and the deeper hurt of your core issue. Feel it willingly because you choose to. This takes away the need to resist.
  2. Surrender to the truth of the way the person is and be willing for the person to never change. You don’t have to like the way the person is, or stay with the person, just surrender to the truth.
  3. Let go of any resentment you have for the person. Ultimately, forgiveness is a choice. If it is hard for you to forgive, focus on healing your hurt. Remember that forgiveness is for you, not the other person.
  4. See your 100% responsibility for the conflict. Once you see your role in the problem, you have the power to do something about it.
  5. If you have been hanging on, let the person go. Hanging on forces the person to fight you. If you are willing to lose the person, the need to fight you disappears.
  6. See that you are just like the person. Any characteristic that you can’t stand in another person is an aspect of you that you can’t stand in yourself. Once you own this part of you, your resistance turns into compassion.
  7. Get with the person and clean up your relationship. Take full responsibility for what happened and ask the person to forgive you. Tell the person that you want your relationship to work.
  8. Follow it up with action. Every time you interact with the person, you will either create love or destroy it, and whatever you give will come right back. Make sure you always give love.


Letting go of resistance is nothing more than surrendering to the truth. That person is the way the person is whether you like it or not. When you surrender to the truth, you can see the truth. When you can see the truth, you can see what you need to do.

The steps for healing a relationship are relatively simple, but not easy. If you need support in healing a relationship, let me know. I can walk you through the healing process.


The opportunity of life

It is possible to have love in every relationship and every aspect of life, but you have to know how. There are concepts to learn, issues to heal, and action to take. I can walk you through the steps.

If you have a relationship or an area of life that isn’t working, or if you just want to create a great life, click the link below and schedule a free 30 minute session. You can also give me a call. We can talk about your situation and create a plan of action. I look forward to hearing from you.

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