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Relationships are not 50/50

Relationships are 100/100

How I treat you determines how you will respond to me. If I am loving and supportive, you will respond one way. If I am judgmental, critical, or resentful, you will respond in a very different way. This makes me 100% responsible for the presence or absence of love and you are 0% responsible. You are 0% responsible because you are reacting to me. I’m the cause and you are the effect.

The other side of the coin is also true. How you treat me determines how I will respond to you. If you are loving and supportive, I will respond one way. If you are judgmental, critical, or resentful, I will respond another way. This makes you 100% responsible and I am 0%. To say this another way, each of us are totally, 100% responsible for the presence or absence of love, but this is not what we have been taught. We have been taught that there is only one responsibility.

Either you are responsible or I am responsible, or we cut it down the middle, 50/50. This is what we’ve been taught, but it’s not the truth. Everyone is responsible. When we believe that there is only one responsibility, we get into trouble. Here’s how:

The biggest killer of relationships

Love is never enough

Love is never enough to have a relationship work. The divorce courts are full of people who love each other. The key to having a relationship be great is actually very simple. Make sure the other person feels loved.

You do this by giving the gift of acceptance and appreciation. Notice how you feel when someone genuinely accepts and appreciates you. Doesn’t this feel good? Of course it does. You feel better about yourself and better about life. You also feel better about the other person.

The same thing happens when you accept and appreciate someone else. That person feels empowered and gives it back to you. By giving acceptance and appreciation, you create the experience of love.

A beautiful reminder

This is a beautiful reminder that we are all the same no matter what country we are from.

How to Resolve Disputes Fast

Disputes are normal. It’s how we attempt to resolve them that makes the difference. Watch the video and learn how to resolve disputes fast.

How to restore your inner peace fast

The nature of upsets

When we get upset, it looks like the upset is caused by what happened, but this is an illusion. Upsets are not caused by what happened, they are caused by fighting what happened. To see this in your life, find a recent upset. Then notice what would happen to the upset if somehow, you were at peace with what happened. The upset would disappear.

The upset would disappear because it is not caused by what happened. It is caused by fighting what happened. The moment you stop fighting what happened, the upset can no longer exist. You restore both your inner peace and your effectiveness.