Relationships are 100/100
How I treat you determines how you will respond to me. If I am loving and supportive, you will respond one way. If I am judgmental, critical, or resentful, you will respond in a very different way. This makes me 100% responsible for the presence or absence of love and you are 0% responsible. You are 0% responsible because you are reacting to me. I’m the cause and you are the effect.
The other side of the coin is also true. How you treat me determines how I will respond to you. If you are loving and supportive, I will respond one way. If you are judgmental, critical, or resentful, I will respond another way. This makes you 100% responsible and I am 0%. To say this another way, each of us are totally, 100% responsible for the presence or absence of love, but this is not what we have been taught. We have been taught that there is only one responsibility.
Either you are responsible or I am responsible, or we cut it down the middle, 50/50. This is what we’ve been taught, but it’s not the truth. Everyone is responsible. When we believe that there is only one responsibility, we get into trouble. Here’s how: