Upsets seem to be caused by what happens, but this is an illusion that creates tremendous suffering. Upsets are not caused by what happens. Upsets are a state of mind and can only exist if we fight what happens.
To see this in your life, find time when you were upset. Then notice that something happened and it happened whether you liked it or not. Now notice what would happen to the upset if somehow, you were at peace with what happened. The upset would disappear. It would disappear because upsets can only exist if we fight what happens.
So why do we fight what happens? We fight what happens because our circumstances hurt. They trigger all sorts of emotion that we don’t want to feel. It’s the automatic, subconscious avoidance of this emotion that creates our upsets and sabotages our lives. It destroys our ability to see clearly and forces destructive behavior.