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You can be right or you can have love, but never both


Being right and having love are opposites. In order to be right, you have to make the other person wrong. This destroys love and creates conflict. When you have love, it doesn’t matter who is right, and conflict disappears.

I saw this demonstrated years ago in a former relationship. Whenever we had an argument, the lady I was with would say, “I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me?” This would instantly melt any resistance I had towards her. My upset disappeared and the experience of love returned. It didn’t matter if she was right or wrong, or if she should be forgiven or not. She didn’t care. She just wanted to get the experience of love back in her relationship.

This is a powerful example of what is available for all of us. We can choose to have love or we can choose to be right. Personally, I would rather have love. What are you more interested in?


Is it important for you to be right?

If it is important for you to be right, look at the consequences. Does this forward you in your life or does it make your life more difficult? Notice how people react to you when you are being right? Notice how it destroys love and fuels conflict.

Being right also sabotages your effectiveness. When you are being right, you are stuck in a single point of view. This keeps you in a state of tunnel vision and prevents you from seeing anything else. Solutions and opportunity that would otherwise be available, won’t be available for you.

The need to be right is very destructive. It’s also a defense mechanism. We need to be right to avoid the hurt of a core issue. If it’s important for you to be right, find the hurt that you are avoiding. What would it say about you if you were wrong? For most people, this is the hurt of feeling stupid. Find your hurt and own this part of you.

The more you are willing to feel your hurt, the less you need to be right and the more you can have love. So, give up having to be right. Life is a lot more fun when you have love.


You can create a great life

It is possible to be happy, alive, and free most of the time. Relationships can heal, problem areas can clear up, and you can create a great life, but this won’t happen by itself. There are concepts to learn, issues to heal, and action to take. Fortunately, the process of transforming your life is relatively easy, but you have to know how. I can walk you through the steps.


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