The Mastery of Life Blog

Upsets seem to be caused by what happens, but this is an illusion that creates tremendous suffering. Upsets are not caused by what happens. Upsets are a state of mind and can only exist if we fight what happens.

To see this in your life, find time when you were upset. Then notice that something happened and it happened whether you liked it or not. Now notice what would happen to the upset if somehow, you were at peace with what happened. The upset would disappear. It would disappear because upsets can only exist if we fight what happens.

So why do we fight what happens? We fight what happens because our circumstances hurt. They trigger all sorts of emotion that we don’t want to feel. It’s the automatic, subconscious avoidance of this emotion that creates our upsets and sabotages our lives. It destroys our ability to see clearly and forces destructive behavior.
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I didn’t know it at the time, but much of my life had been spent running from failure. I did everything I could to become a success. Then there was a point when I purchased a significant amount of real estate. I did this right before the market collapsed.

As a result, I lost everything. I lost my investments, my office, and even my home. This was a very difficult time for me, but it ended up being one of the most valuable. It put failure in my face like never before and this is exactly what I needed.
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At any moment, you are either on top of life or life is on top of you. When you are on top of life, you have power. You see clearly and can chart your course. You are creative and effective. You can make things happen and have your dreams come true. When life is on top of you, the opposite happens. You are powerless. You lose both your confidence and your energy.

When you are in this state, it is very difficult to make anything happen. You are negative and ineffective. Any area of your life that isn’t working is an area where you have lost your power. That’s why it’s not working. Fortunately, it is relatively easy to get your power back. To learn how, let’s look at the Law of Cause and Effect.
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Almost everyone has a relationship or an area of life that isn’t working. These problem areas seem to be the result of another person or our circumstances, but they are not. The problem areas of life are not the problem. They are the symptom.

If you have any area of life that isn’t working, there is an underlying condition of resisting or hanging on that is either creating the problem or destroying your ability to resolve it. This condition makes us defensive and creates a state of fear and upset. It destroys our ability to see clearly and forces destructive behavior.
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The happiness we seek

We have been taught that happiness and upsets come from our circumstances. We then go through life doing everything we can to make people and life be a certain way. We fight, resist, hang on, and withdraw. We think this will somehow bring us the happiness we seek, but it doesn’t. It creates more suffering.

As long as we try to get happiness from outside of ourselves, we are guaranteed to destroy love and sabotage our lives. The happiness we seek is not outside of us. It’s inside.
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