The Mastery of Life Blog

The key to having life work

Almost everyone has a relationship or an area of life that isn’t working. These problem areas seem to be the result of another person or our circumstances, but this is an illusion that creates needless suffering. The problem areas of life are not the problem. They are the symptom.

If you have any area of life that isn’t working, there is an underlying condition of resisting or hanging on that is either creating the problem or destroying your ability to resolve it. This condition makes us defensive and creates a state of fear and upset. It destroys our ability to see clearly and forces destructive behavior.

Fortunately, this condition can be found and removed. The moment this happens, you restore your ability to see clearly. You can then take action based on facts instead of emotion. Solutions appear and this area of life starts clearing up. To see how this condition works, let’s look at the nature of reality.
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Relationships are 100/100

How I treat you determines how you will respond to me. If I am loving and supportive, you will respond one way. If I am judgmental, critical, or resentful, you will respond in a very different way. This makes me 100% responsible for the presence or absence of love and you are 0% responsible. You are 0% responsible because you are reacting to me. I’m the cause and you are the effect.

The other side of the coin is also true. How you treat me determines how I will respond to you. If you are loving and supportive, I will respond one way. If you are judgmental, critical, or resentful, I will respond another way. This makes you 100% responsible and I am 0%. To say this another way, each of us are totally, 100% responsible for the presence or absence of love, but this is not what we have been taught. We have been taught that there is only one responsibility.

Either you are responsible or I am responsible, or we cut it down the middle, 50/50. This is what we’ve been taught, but it’s not the truth. Everyone is responsible. When we believe that there is only one responsibility, we get into trouble. Here’s how:
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Love is never enough

Love is never enough to have a relationship work. The divorce courts are full of people who love each other. The key to having a relationship be great is actually very simple. Make sure the other person feels loved.

You do this by giving the gift of acceptance and appreciation. Notice how you feel when someone genuinely accepts and appreciates you. Doesn’t this feel good? Of course it does. You feel better about yourself and better about life. You also feel better about the other person.

The same thing happens when you accept and appreciate someone else. That person feels empowered and gives it back to you. By giving acceptance and appreciation, you create the experience of love.
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This is a beautiful reminder that we are all the same no matter what country we are from.

Disputes are normal. It’s how we attempt to resolve them that makes the difference. Watch the video and learn how to resolve disputes fast.