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Imagination creates possibility. Possibility creates direction. Direction makes things happen.

When you discover the possibility of something, you can see what needs to be done. You can then take effective action and can make your life a little better. When you don’t see possibility, you can’t take action and your life stays the same.

Possibility is always there. We just need to look for it. So imagine. What is possible for your life? How do you want your life to be? Invest a few minutes and do some daydreaming. Keep looking and looking. Get clear on what you want. Then go for it.

Why healing your past is the key to your future

The childhood hurt that keeps life from working

Every one of us has a hurt from the past that sabotages our lives today. This hurt makes us defensive and destroys our ability to see clearly. It creates upset and forces destructive behavior. If you have any relationship or any area of life that isn’t working, this area of suffering can be traced directly to the automatic, subconscious avoidance of a very specific hurt.

Here is how it works. When we were young, we were happy, alive, and free, but we soon collided with our culture. We experienced rejection, invalidation, and painful loses of love. Look at your life and notice the hurt that you experienced as a child.

How to be free of guilt

Guilt seems to be caused by what we did, but this is an illusion. Guilt is never caused by what we did. Guilt is something that we add later. We add guilt after we learn the consequences of our actions. This is great news because if guilt is something we create, it’s something we can heal.

The first step in releasing guilt is to find something you did that you feel guilty about. Then go back in time to the moment you did whatever you did. At that moment, didn’t you have a very particular state of mind and didn’t you see life in a very particular way? Weren’t your actions a direct result of this very limited awareness?

Now notice what would have happened if you knew then what you know today. Wouldn’t you have handled your situation in a very different way? Of course you would, but you didn’t know then what you know today. (more…)

2020 has been a crazy year

For most of us, 2020 has turned our lives upside down and inside out. There has been lots of suffering. At the same time, good has come from the craziness. To coin a phrase from Charles Dickens, “It has been the best of times and the worst of times.”

We have been “shaken awake.” The world as we know it has stopped and we have been forced to look at our lives in a new way. In the process of looking, we have discovered new opportunities and new ways of being. We have also become more aware of what really matters in our lives.

For me, I have a much deeper appreciation for the little things in life: being with friends, a smile, a flower. It’s the experience of love that makes the biggest difference in our lives.

The key to resolving disputes

I used to be a divorce attorney. When people came to see me, they were usually full of fear and upset. They also had lots of hurt from their relationship. Now they had to resolve important questions like what happens to the kids, the house, and how to handle their finances.

As you can expect, divorcing couples have very different opinions as to how these questions should be resolved. Unfortunately, most people attempt to resolve these issues in a way that makes it hard to resolve anything. We are taught to draw sides against the other person and fight to make sure our side wins.

We think that if we fight hard enough, our side will come out on top, but it doesn’t work this way. Everything we do to have our side win is calculated to have the other side lose. This puts the other person on the defensive and forces that person to fight us.