The Mastery of Life Blog

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Are you focusing on the symptom or the cause?

I recently had a session with a husband and wife that were deep in the process of a contested divorce. Each had their point of view about how things should be handled and each person’s point of view was valid. As they fought to have their points of view prevail, the cycle of conflict escalated dramatically.

There was so much upset and defensiveness that neither person could hear what the other was saying. Instead of looking for solutions, all the focus was on fighting and resisting. They couldn’t see that the conflict and suffering was their own creation. It was a symptom, not the problem.

Perhaps this is what life is all about

In the last week or so, I experienced the passing of some very special people. I didn’t know these individuals personally, but they were special in the lives of my family and friends. This morning, it happened again. A beautiful light in the world just lost his battle with cancer.

For some reason I was deeply moved. The loss brought up lots of sadness. It also put me back in touch with how totally irrelevant our circumstances are. Compared to life, our circumstances are absurdly meaningless. The only thing that matters is the experience of love.

How to be free of guilt

Guilt is very destructive. It reduces your self-respect and undermines your relationship with yourself. It makes you feel undeserving and shrinks your capacity to receive. It takes away your confidence and fuels the deeper core issues that destroy love and sabotage your life.

Being free of guilt is very important. Fortunately, this is relatively easy to do. It’s easy because guilt is never, never caused by what we did. Guilt is something that we add later with the benefit of hindsight. It is only when we see the consequences of our actions that we add guilt.

How to resolve disputes fast

If you have two or more people together, you can expect to have disagreements. How you handle these disagreements determines the quality of your relationship. Most of us handle them in a way that is very destructive. We get defensive and draw sides against the other person.

Then we fight to have our side prevail. We think that if we fight hard enough, our side will win. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. Everything you do to have your side win is calculated to have the other side lose. This automatically puts the other person on the defensive and forces that person to fight you.

The world is going nuts. Is there a purpose to it? I think so.

As I am sure you have noticed, the world is getting crazier and crazier by the minute. Lots of people are suffering. The world is changing rapidly and appears to be getting worse. My question is this: “Why?” Is there is a purpose in all this insanity?

Over the years, I have noticed that most people need to hit the bottom before they will ever look inside and have the awakening they need to have the rest of their lives be great. Maybe the same is true for our planet.